|
|
|
|
|
|
I am a cigarette stick lit. For now.
It was staring at a single “yosi” stick that caught my attention. There it was. A small blaze that glowed and burned and puffed up this swirling wave of light gray whitish smoke which when you stare at it, just stare at it and don’t move, it actually looks pretty. Go ahead; stare at your stick’s smoke. There it is… a vertical ghost river that dances with each slight movement you make. Jerk your fingers a little and see what happens. Well, it’s either you jerked too strong that the ashes fell cause you forgot to make “tak-tak” it into the ashtray, or you saw how the smoke bopped quickly and then returned to its calm river-state motion. Such a smooth-slow motion of strips of clouds that vanishes into the open air.
I am that blaze and the smoke has become my past. Or so I just want to relate to it like that right now.
As I stare into the fire, I think of it as the burning force that drives me to do things per day, to make certain choices, to keep me going from one morning to the next. Every “hit-hit” inhalation of that darn cig stick, which is dangerous to your health, reflects upon me as the vital stuff I have done which marks my life chart or which has made a difference in me. And just a thought… if life were fast forwarded, that would be how short life actually is.
Life is just a burning yosi stick that diminishes too fast.
Puff-puff.
Hit-hit buga. Bhugaahhhhh…..
The bad things about cigarettes is how it destroys you. You try it, you get addicted to it, then you just can’t seem to stop. Like how if you found a job, let’s say the most unlikely job you would want to get. You got it out of mere desperation because you ran out of money and you need income (to buy more cigarette packs perhaps). My point? Read the first few sentences on this paragraph again. Ok, the words try, addicted, can’t stop…You tried out this job, but because of how society dictates how one should be or how people should live, and you strive to maintain that job. Some or a lot of people would begin to enjoy their work or maybe the fear of not getting another job, and won’t bother to look for another because this job is just fine (addict), and then later on they become workaholics. They become slaves to the job, to the money (can’t stop). Are you any of these?
I’m not saying it’s bad to be like that. That’s just fine. Just be careful. It might suck the life out of you sooner than expected.
That’s why you got to go out and breathe the real fresh air once in a while. Vacations are important. Time off, the right amount of sleep, a massage, a vegetarian dinner, a good satisfying sex with someone other than just by yourself (which can actually become frustrating for some people if done alone all the time), and perhaps a good swim in your nearby neighborhood pool. Just breathe deep and well. The gook in your lungs will eventually come out of your nose in black icky lumps.
And the smell sticks to your clothes. How embarrassing. Really shameful. Especially when people come walk by you, sniff the air and wrinkle up their noses in pure disgust of the scent.
Eh. Blah. Sorry ‘bout that.
I am that cig stick still lit… yet the fire has reached halfway.
At this point in my young adult life, things have seemed to be at a stall. Like how cigarettes are actually a downer, a depressant. Am I correct? That’s what I heard. Yes, depression. Not something unknown to many. It is actually a part of many. It is a part of everyone. So linking it up to my subject, the fire in me burns but I feel shallow. Perhaps I would think that there are matters that make me happy, yet when I reflect on it again, it had felt unreal. Or maybe I have become delusional. I dunno. And at this point, I don’t care.
*Takes a puff*
My yosi is about to finish. And so is this article. All I need to do later on is to get another stick and light it up again, and watch the smoke curl up and rise, even if I know I would look stupid doing that, staring at the smoke. I feel sort of calm doing that actually. Like I’m just floating along.
…Where’s my ashtray?
Recommend this article to a friend!
Comment on this article!
 |
|
|
|