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SINGING THE BLUES
Big night tonight. You've never imagined this
day would come, the same day last year when you realized
you've fallen for him and when he asked you to be his
girl. Still hung up on his last sweet text message you've
just received, you rummage in your closet full of ugly
and that-is-so-last-season clothes and wondered why you
ever bought them in the first place. Got to be perfect
for him, you thought. Alas, you've decided to wear this
sweet but sexy dress that would definitely take his breath
away. A bit of blush on both cheeks, eyeshadow to compliment
the dress, eyelashes curled, subtle-but-wild lipstick,
hair blowdried, killer strappy sandals, nails polished…
and you're set. You were singing the song "More Today
than Yesterday" when you heard his car pull up in
front of your house. This is it.
He's unusually quiet, you thought, as you looked at him
sitting on the driver's seat. You ignored the idea and
just hummed all the way to the restaurant he made reservations
for. While relishing the sumptuous cake you've just ordered
for dessert, he blurted, "We need to talk."
You thought, we do? Suddenly you felt the cake tasted
a little salty from the tears that came from out of nowhere
while listening to him explain something he himself couldn't
explain. He kept on babbling about that way too familiar
"it's not you, it's me" speech which didn't
make things any better. If you could only scream at him
for being so careless about his feelings that he allowed
this to happen, but you couldn't. Instead, you just sat
there and cried. It's over. Suddenly the sun doesn't shine
anymore.
Now you're alone and you wonder what happened. You blame
yourself for this heartache. Everybody keeps saying "it's
his loss, not yours", but how do you know if it's
not your loss when you feel like the world has turned
its back on you leaving you cold and bitter? You cry for
days, you don't feel like seeing anyone, your room becomes
your sanctuary, and your pillow your new best friend.
Breaking up with someone is one of the hardest struggles
in life. Not only do you get rejected after months of
spending quality time with each other, your self-confidence
lowers in such a way that you don't like to look at yourself
in the mirror anymore. The lifetime goals you shared together
no longer exist. The efforts you made, the stuff you gave
him (especially the expensive ones, ouch!), the places
you went, the magic moments you shared all go down the
drain. Plus admitting the fact that you've lost probably
the best friend you ever had is something you're having
difficulty dealing with. It's hard to live life when you've
gotten used to him being around all the time.
Now what?
Since everything happened so fast and unexpected, the
best thing you can do to avoid any sudden stroke or heart
attack is to cry. Just let it out and release the pain
that's trying to squeeze your heart to death. Cry all
you want and cry whenever you want, until your tear ducts
get numb from all the tears. A wound heals faster when
you let the blood pour out of the opening. The same goes
to your heart.
As if crying is not enough, having somebody to talk to
can reduce the pain. Gather all of your friends and demand
all the food you want to eat and be spoiled (you're hurt
and you think you need some attention). By talking and
listening to them, you'd come to your senses, think rationally
and be able to pinpoint the probable reasons why this
has happened to you. Friends are one of the most significant
people in your life, so if you think you've abandoned
them while you were going out with the guy whom you thought
was "the one", you're on dangerous ground.
You can mourn for a week or two, then move on with your
life and get yourself busy to remove your thoughts from
it. Remember that you still have responsibilities to take
care of: bills to pay, a project to complete, and an exam
to take. The world will never stop spinning for anybody's
loss like yours. If it did, then it will just be still
until such a time when other planets bump into ours.
It's hard to survive a break up. Some things just happen
for a reason. Take time to heal your wounds. Remember
that you were doing fine before he entered the scene.
"There are few things sadder in this life than watching
someone walk away after they've left you, watching the
distance between your bodies expand until there's nothing
but empty space and silence…" (from the movie
Someone Like You)
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Article written by: Leslie Real
Send your comments to: lesler@bembang.com
Get to know Leslie at the Bembang!Forums.
Her nick is "lesler".
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